The Solution To Social Anxiety by Aziz Gazipura

Author:Aziz Gazipura [Gazipura, Aziz]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Tags: personal growth., social anxiety, self esteem, self confidence, social phobia, self compassion, social confidence
Publisher: The Center For Social Confidence
Published: 2013-09-12T04:00:00+00:00

Which ones from this list stand out? Can you identify several of these abilities as things you possess? Create a list of your top five strengths on a sheet of paper now.

Own them

As you look at your list of strengths, what is your experience? Do you agree with the list? Do you believe that you have these qualities and that other people could be attracted to you because of these qualities?

ShyQuote:

What are my strengths? I’m a pretty bright guy I guess… and I’m a kind person?

When one of my clients said this to me, his voice increased two octaves as he said the last few words, indicating a huge question mark. Am I really a kind person? Can I actually say my strengths out loud?

While identifying what makes you special, admirable, and attractive to others is an important part of the solution to social anxiety, it alone is not likely to shift how you feel about yourself. It is one thing to identify your strengths, and something entirely different to own them. Owning our strengths involves knowing them on a deep level, trusting in them, and believing that we do in fact have some pretty amazing qualities. It involves carrying this knowledge with dignity and self-respect, instead of doubt and pre-emptive apology.

The general attitude of owning your strengths can be summed up in two words: Of course.

• Of course I am intelligent.

• Of course I am funny.

• Of course I am an attractive guy.

• Of course I am kind and patient.

• Of course.

So how do we get there? How do we take these newfound strengths that we are still secretly doubting and start to fully own them?

Emphatic declaration

“Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.”

~ Napoleon Hill

What we say to ourselves on a daily basis, on an hourly basis, on a moment-to-moment basis, has a powerful effect on how we see ourselves. We are constantly altering and adjusting how we see ourselves. This is also known as our identity. Most of us who have difficulty acknowledging our strengths tend to have a negative identity. We tend to repeat certain things to ourselves dozens of times per day, if not more. Things such as:

• That was stupid.

• People will think I’m incompetent.

• No one would hire me.

• I’m a loser.

• I’m pathetic.

• I’m no good at this.

While most of the time we are not saying these phrases out loud, they do sometimes slip out in our conversations or when we have made a particularly obvious blunder. You may have even had the experience of making a mistake, then exclaiming “Idiot!” out loud.

The process of emphatic declaration takes the same principle and turns it to your advantage. Through repetition, you can start to alter the way you see yourself, thus changing your identity. The process is simple, yet powerful. It involves taking your list and stating your strengths out loud, using a full, strong tone with slightly louder volume than you would normally use in regular conversation.

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